Your Drink of Choice
We all enjoy our nocturnal escapades with a touch of alcohol from time to time. Some of us more than others, but most of the time we are completely unaware of what we are consuming. By the end of this alcoholic exposé, perhaps you shall be more enlightened by some standard – and some bizarre – facts on your drink of choice.
Let us first dispel a few myths about alcohol consumption. Firstly, contrary to popular belief, alcohol does not destroy brain cells and in some cases has been proven to be associated with improved cognitive functioning. A “beer belly” is not caused by the ingestion of beer, or any alcohol for that matter, but rather by eating too much food. No beer or other alcohol is necessary. Rather give the post-soirée BP pie a miss if you are worried about your weight gain. And no, drinking coffee will not sober your friend up, or cold showers for that matter. Research has shown that alcohol, regardless of age, weight and sex, leaves the body at a constant rate for virtually everybody, independent of other factors. Finally, alcohol is not the cause of alcoholism. One US governmental alcohol agency states, “Alcohol no more causes alcoholism than sugar causes diabetes”, while Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) asserts that people are born alcoholic and are not caused to be alcoholic by alcohol or anything in their experience.
Alcohol, however, is a depressant. It does slow nerve responses and causes certain chemicals to be released into your body. These chemicals are responsible for slowing your heart rate, reducing your reaction time, and reducing your coordination. The hyperactivity you sometimes think you feel is actually another side effect of alcohol, caused by the brain releasing chemicals which render the frontal lobe inoperative. This causes your inhibitions to flee your consciousness, and so it is not that you are more energetic, it is that you get up and move around when you would normally decide to be lazy and sit, and that your tongue develops verbal diarrhoea, because there are no internal controls to stop your blundering idiocy.
Alcohol is produced by the fermentation of fruits, vegetables or grains by yeast that converts the carbohydrates of these constituents to ethyl alcohol. Alcoholic drinks consist mainly of various strength mixtures of water and ethyl alcohol and the substance obtained after fermentation is then further purified and distilled and sometimes matured.
One final myth concerning alcohol is that Tequila contains a worm. The worm is actually found solely in Mescal, which is any ‘Tequila’ made outside of the Tequila area in Mexico, much as sparkling wine is the term for any ‘Champagne’ made outside of Champagne in France. The worm is the Agave worm, which feeds exclusively on the Pina (a large 20-30kg fruit resembling a pineapple) of the Mescal plant from which Tequila is made.
Enjoy your drinking. Responsibly, mind you.
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. – Matt Groening (1954 – )
